second step

i said so many times, was it a painful effort to listen? because it felt like breaking a concrete wall with bare hands. i always tried tried too hard to pretend being here but i never thought if i really wanted to (besides wanting you) but now i don't know where i am right now, and i don't believe you do neither. and sincerely it doesn't matter that much. i just hope that things can take their way without taking the few good things left. it's just sad that you needed to come this far to realize that you're the one who changed.